While I, as a mother of 7, understand the need of having a doula present, it isn’t always easy to convince a spouse or partner of the need. Last night I sat down with Mr. DoulaWise and asked him, “What would you tell a new parent is the reason dropping $1000+/- is completely worth it? Even, and especially when money is tight.”
Here’s our conversation:
Me: When we had our first baby together this wasn’t my first rodeo, but it was yours. I’d asked someone to be my doula, and you were excited to share this home birth experience with her present. While I’d lost my job during pregnancy (due to severe morning sickness), we were living on your sole income, insurance wouldn’t cover the birth choices we’d made, and having a doula was another expense. What did you think of it all?
Mr. D: It was all a bit overwhelming, but I knew you knew more about this than me. Even though my family wasn’t happy about a home birth, seeing your confidence helped me feel assurance in those choices. Knowing that our doula was there to support us was a real comfort, because I wasn’t sure I would hold it together when you were in the thick of it. She did a lot to comfort you physically, and me emotionally.
Me: And when we found we were having twins, with me still not working outside the home, you didn’t hesitate to hire a doula again. What were your thoughts about that cost?
Mr. D: From the research I did about our first birth and knowing what we were facing the second time around with preterm labor starting at 21 weeks, I knew that we were far more likely to have better outcomes for our premature babies and with you. Having Karen there meant I could go with the twins and be with them while you weren’t being left alone on the operating table. I knew you were in great hands while our babies needed me with them more than you did, thanks to our doula.
Me: Our family continued to grow, and we had two more daughters. Were you still as thrilled to have a doula with our subsequent births?
Mr. D: Without a doubt! Having a doula with you meant that I could focus on the needs of the kids until birth was eminent. It enabled me to keep things together at home, with work and with us.
Me: What is one thing you want every parent to know about having a doula there?
Mr.: Your baby only gets one birth story. Having a doula there can help make it one you’ll share with fondness for the rest of your life, even when things don’t go according to plan.
DoulaWise 