“Trust is an essential factor for successful communication that needs to happen between human beings. We have to trust the source and we have to trust the … receiving end is also there… paying attention.”

~ LeVar Burton

Whom do you trust? Why do you trust in that person? What is it that drives you to feel they are honest with you? Because, perhaps, you’ve built a relationship with them. You’ve likely listened to them, and they’ve listened to you.

In order to find the right provider, you will likely want to interview more than one OB, Midwife or APRN. You will want to research facilities in your area to find what kind of policies they have, what their birth statistics are, and whether you feel comfortable with the care teams that work there. (You can find statistics for your local hospitals here.) You’ll also want to do some digging on what an OB/Gyn is versus a Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM), Advanced Practice Registered Nurse (APRN, overseen by an OB), a Certified Professional Midwife (CPM) and a direct entry midwife (trained but not certified or regulated by any board or peer organization). Which of these sounds like your ideal provider? Why would you choose them? There are no wrong answers, only the ones that work best for you.

(If you want a brief overview about what the difference is between the types of providers, I wrote a post here.)

I’ve said many times, and it bears repeating, I don’t judge you by what type of birth you desire to have, or where you desire to give birth. I do care that you are the one making those conscious decisions. It’s not possible to be the same person for every pregnancy, or to have the same birth twice. You may want all your births to look a certain way, or happen in a certain place every time, but our bodies and our babies may have different plans for us. If I had a wish for every birth of mine it would be to have had them all in a pool of water in my bedroom. That happened once. Another time it was in the bathtub. Once it was on an operating table. And still others were in the Labor and Delivery ward of a hospital. But in all but one of those cases, I chose who was there, how I was supported, what position I would be in, and who got to touch my babies. I chose the lighting, the music, the interventions, the doulas, the midwives, the OB, and I even chose all of these things, plus the temperature of the operating room during my cesarean birth with the twins.

Above you can see the birth of my son at home and the top and bottom pictures are of the twins after their cesarean births. They looked very different, but they were equally empowering! The power of decision was never taken from me. That is what birth should be. It should be a trusting environment. A room full of love and belief in the birther to make the right decisions for both them and their baby.