Variation of Normal

There are too many stigmas, way too many ways to judge, and far too many moms feeling alone and under qualified, under prepared, and under appreciated. It’s time that we see every healthy, informed maternal choice, not as good or bad, but as a variation of normal. It’s time to learn from one another. It’s time to support one another. Instead of trying to impart your own thoughts on someone else’s decisions, learn from them why this is their best choice. Or, better yet, learn that you don’t have to know why it’s their choice!

Her induction doesn’t affect your birth. Her planned cesarean doesn’t mean you’re going to be cut on when you labor. Her natural birth doesn’t mean you can’t get the epidural you desperately need to get through your next contraction. Her home birth doesn’t mean she’s neglecting herself or her child. Her hospital birth doesn’t mean she’s inviting trouble into her birth. Your birth choice doesn’t make you stronger or weaker than any other person or any other choice. Your experience strengthens you, and makes you stronger than yesterday’s you. Be stronger and be better than those who judge. Show respect for your sister. Be excited to be in a community where we can learn from the wildly different versions of normal.

Know that the storm of labor and birth is between the mother and baby, and no one else can endure that storm for them. We can only support them through it, help them process it when the storm passes, and celebrate the outcome together. Let’s become a tribe of strong women cheering strong women! It’ll be our variation of normal.

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Author: jimikirkman

Devoted mother, wife, doula, and cook.